Gentlemen Please!

Whatever happened to the gentlemen, the men that always opened the door without thinking for women and children. In our parents day, a man would never even think of letting a lady stand on the bus. Recently I jumped on the skytrain  and was immediately dumbfounded by the men of all ages that were sitting in the seats, while there were lots of ladies standing, some elderly and some with children. Not one of them got up and gave up their seats, Instead these ladies struggled to hang on to the poles in the middle of the train, while these men buried their heads in their iphones, texting, or listening to their ipod.  I was one of the ladies standing also or I would have given them my seat. It made me wonder what had happened to the gentlemen.

I polled a few men and they commented that they are  not really sure whether they should attempt to be a gentleman, especially when taking a woman out on a  first date.  My opinion is that the majority of women appreciate a gentleman, so if you really want to stand out from the crowd go back to the days when women were feminine and men were gentlemen. I am not saying be a doormat, I am saying be thoughtful and protective, as well as being confident and strong. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man who does all those things and gives it without expectations.  Men you know exactly what I mean here! 🙂

In one of my past posts we talked about intelligent successful women and the general consensus was that in order for these women to still be attractive to the opposite sex they had to make sure and try to keep their feminine  ways. I realize that along the way some of our roles have changed and with that has come a lot of confusion. My suggestion to men is that is you wish women to lean to the  feminine  side, maybe you should  go back to or continue being a gentleman.

I know myself, I have taken over where some men have fallen off. I have dated many men that don’t even think about opening the car door or any door for me that I have automatically gotten into the habit of doing it for myself.  So much so that when I have come across a true gentleman they have actually had to remind me to let them do it for them.  So I apologize to all those wonderful gentlemen your effort did not go unnoticed.  I have always loved it when a man is a gentleman in public,  although he does not always have to be in private.  🙂   On the other side men may like us to be a lady in public but  they also like it when we know when not to be. 🙂  How does the saying go “men want an intelligent woman to work with or talk to,  Mother Theresa to raise their children,  one of the guys to  watch or play sports with, and a whore in the bedroom” or something like that.  I digress. 🙂

Men, just in case you forgot some of the things that a true gentlemen is known for they:

– open the door for women and children

– walk on the curb side when walking down the street, offer their arm or hand

–  let the lady go first and then pull out her chair for her to sit

–  call ahead of time for a date

– call when you say you will

– take charge of  reservations

– pick up the lady at her place and drive

– be respectful

– pick up the tab when they invite a lady out  (the lady can recipricate with a home cooked meal or  pick up the tab on their invite

– offer to go get the car when it is raining, at least offer an umbrella

– always drive her home safely

I am sure that I  have forgotten many things . I would welcome your feedback  ladies and gentlemen, especially if you think I forgot something  that you think is really important.

It is a beautiful day gentlemen why not try opening the door for a lady today and see if you get a thank you and a smile, maybe more. Ladies make sure and allow the men the opportunity.  Then drop me a note and share your stories please. Have a fabulous day.

  1. Gregg ScottGregg Scott06-06-2009

    What you’re observing is the result of 3 decades of women attemtpting to be powerful in the world by being matriarchal.

    Women incessantly proclaim that they don’t need men financially, emotionally, sexually–even to have children. It’s an empty bed you made.

  2. SiskoSisko06-06-2009

    why be a gentlmen? there arent many ladies around

    pick up the tab when they invite a lady out (the lady can recipricate with a home cooked meal or pick up the tab on their invite

    the problem with this statement, is that women fall back on the line
    “I think that the person who asks pays” given that women ask men around 10% of the time (I m being generous here) this argument does not hold ground.

    If the first date is below 20$ then I pay, you don’t want to be cheap but at the same time you dont want to be taken for a ride.

    No one wants to be taken for granted. There are always conflicts of interests in a relationship therefore you should be assertive and hold your ground

    Women always try to get men to pay for a first date because they think this is part of chivalry. But we also know that women feel they are “equal” to men, based upon Feminism. So then why do women complain when they have to pay for dates? They should have to pay for their own meals, buy their own diamond rings, etc. Since women want to be equal to men, they should put their money where there mouth is and stop complaining about having to pay for anything. You can’t be a ‘strong, independent’ woman and depend on a man for anything. That’s hypocrisy.

    It’s funny how women point to “gentlemen” as a “traditional” role men should play, but these same stupid peoplethat suddenly have problems when we tell them to act like a lady and play their traditional role. Suddenly they say they are “strong and independent” and don’t have to follow stereotypes. Yet these same stupid women have no problem applying stereotypes to men like having them pay for their stuff. This shows that women are just babies that lie about being “independent”. Women are too stupid to know what real independence is.

    see, women are allowed to lie and pretend they are interested just so they can get the man’s money. but a man is not allowed to lie to a woman. he has to PAY in order to date her. this just shows that today’s men are total PUSSSIES! who have no backbone whatsoever

    stay single guys ,the paying for female attention in a custom called ” dating” isnt worth it the cost is too high

    sorry for not giving you all the politcally correct answer you want. I just think reality is the better option

    • JerryJerry05-06-2017

      “why be a gentlmen? there arent many ladies around”(sic)

      Indeed. When you live in a city where the women think “How much do you earn” is an acceptable question, you know what game is really being played ….

      • Sheree MorganSheree Morgan05-08-2017

        Again you have made your mind up based somebodies response. Not all women ask that but I do agree its none of their business. The only women that would respond that way are women you shouldn’t want anyways, so no loss. When someone shows you bad behavior say thank you and walk on. Better to learn who they are upfront and You don’t waste your time with them. I do see a pattern. You can’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. So try talking to women other than this type. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different response. If you see a pattern, look at the common denominator.

  3. NeilNeil06-12-2009

    I’m amazed at the answers I have read here. I believe I am a gentleman. I did lack in the category of picking the lady up and seeing her home safely on my recent attempt at dating and that was definately a downfall. I definitely missed out on one of the wonders of the world by messing up. I still think that I should have been given another chance but we did not deal with it well. If that sounds like I’m being a ‘pussy’ as ‘Sisko’ so eloquently wrote in diatribe then so be it. I am alone.
    I have held doors for women at banks, malls etc and probably get a thank-you about 5% of the time. I still do it, pay it forward. Its the right thing to do.

  4. NeilNeil06-12-2009

    My error, I should have said ‘wrote in his diatribe’

  5. vancouverdatingvancouverdating06-12-2009

    I think that women do love gentlemen, I certainly do, as I consider myself a lady. I do not in any way think that makes you a “pussy” as Sisko write in his diatribe. It is the right thing to do and paying it forward always comes back to you. I am sorry your are alone at the moment but I am sure that you won’t be for long. 🙂

Leave a Reply